It took me three periods of reverse culture shock or Post Travel Depression (PTD) to understand what it entailed, how it felt and how I could recognize it. I want to share this with you, because it will make life after coming back from a trip or living abroad a lot more bearable when you know that feeling will likely disappear eventually. In my experience, the phenomena of reverse culture shock and PTD exist in two ways: acute and more under the surface.
The first time I experienced acute reverse culture shock was after I had just come back from an internship and backpacking in Laos, Cambodia and Bangkok. It happened when I was cycling home from a friend’s house in the dark. As I saw the countless headlights of cars on the insanely well-structured Dutch streets, I suddenly got overwhelmed and started hyperventilating. So many cars. So many people that can afford cars. Such structured roads and we still complain about where our tax money goes? So much wealth, compared to countries where there is only little. It is unfair, it is unjust. Why is the world so incredibly unequal and how do we seem to be so blissfully acceptant of it most of the time? I was having a panic attack.
When I arrived home my roommate got me through it and throughout the days the shock became less. Although my travels had definitely cultivated a certain awareness and impacted how I experience life and look at the state of the world, after a while I got back to my own daily life with its (in the grand scheme of things perhaps) small but valid problems.
The next times I experienced reverse culture shock and PTD it was more subtle and so I did not recognize it right away. After an study semester abroad in Hawaiʿi I went straight to Ecuador with a friend, where we had to fly back earlier because of protests going on at the time. I backpacked through the Netherlands, sleeping in the houses of family and friends. I felt lonely and lost as friends were going on vacation and were busy with summer activities. I had some plans, but around those plans I felt like shit. I did not know what it was that I did want, but I felt highly unsatisfied with the situation I was in. After several weeks, I realized I had not properly grieved the ending of my time in Hawaiʿi, nor had I felt that I was able to talk about it enough.
Later that year I went to Aruba and then Brazil for over four months. When coming back I felt the drastic urge for change. I wanted new clothes (well, new secondhand clothes I mean) but as I was at the store I got a mental breakdown over not knowing what I wanted. It was all the same, everything felt awfully Dutch and I could not see myself wearing any of it. A few days later I realized that I had tried to (literally) fit back into Dutch culture too soon while I was still in the process of landing. Apparently not having learned from that mistakes, I made a vision board several days later. Rather than showing my wildest dreams, it showed a vision limited to what I thought I was supposed to want and what was available for me in the Netherlands. After some weeks of sleeping at friends’ houses and my brother’s place, a time in which the moving kept me going and distracted, I got back into my own room where I could not escape the feeling of disconnect I felt to this old version of me that had lived in this room. I painted my wall a different color, which helped to make it feel like a new space. Several weeks after creating and hanging up the vision board in my ‘new’ room, the vision board finally fell off my wall during the night. I took it as a sign and now that I felt more connected to myself and my environment again, I created a new one that truly envisioned what I wanted for myself.
Several weeks after getting back into that room, I went on fieldwork in Udaipur, India. Honestly, leaving for that trip came to early for me as I was just getting used to life in the Netherlands again. The time in India was incredibly intense, which every other student on fieldwork there with me can testify to. In itself Udaipur was a sensually overwhelming place. On top of that I was engaged in fieldwork 24/7 since even when I intended to be on a break, I would notice things as a researcher. Upon coming back I right away had to work on my thesis proposal, so although I had physically landed, there was barely any time and space to energetically land. At this point, I was quick to recognize my reverse culture shock. Less than a week after coming back I felt disconnected and did not want to see people. I ended up forcing myself to go to a bonfire-at-the-beach-birthday-party of one of my best friends. The henna on my hands being an excellent conversation starter, I talked about India a lot and the contact with people did me good. I still felt tired the days after, but I knew that seeing friends would charge me. This time it only took me about a week to recover from reverse culture shock.
When referring to a state of being after returning home from a long vacation, the above signs are usually referred to as post-vacation blues, or post-travel depression (PTD) rather than reverse culture shock.
What I learned so far about reverse culture shock or PTD and how to overcome it
Signs of reverse culture shock or PTD can include:
Feeling disconnected to friends and family;
Feeling disconnected to yourself;
Feeling exhausted even when you’ve gotten enough sleep;
Not being sure what home is supposed to feel like anymore;
Strong feelings of nostalgia that you feel like you are unable to accurately share with people around you;
Wanting to isolate yourself;
Not feeling motivated for things you used to be motivated for;
Feeling uninspired;
Loss of appetite;
Feeling restless;
Feeling depressed.
How to overcome reverse culture shock or PTD:
Recognize that what you are going through is reverse culture shock or Post Travel Depression (PTD). This (once I found out) helped me not to drown in the depressing feelings of fatigue, loneliness and disconnect as I was able to relativize that state of being with the understanding that it was temporary.
It helped me to talk about my experiences abroad, especially with people I went with or that had had similar experiences. In the same way, it helped me to talk about the feeling of reverse culture shock with others that had experienced this before.
For me, it greatly helped to meet up with friends. Only when you see your friends again, will you become aware of what happens in each other’s life, which helps you connect back to people and their daily lives.
The earlier you start picking up activities and things of your life in your home country that you like doing, the earlier you will feel connected to living there again.
Allow yourself to have changed!!! You do not have to fit back completely into the you before travelling. This is difficult as most people will welcome back a version of you that you might no longer recognize. Talk about this and try to understand for yourself and discuss with others the change you (feel like you) have been through during your travels. Even if others do not (seem to entirely) understand, knowing this for yourself is the most important 😊
Everyone will experience reverse culture shock or PTD differently and some might not even experience it at all. Nevertheless, whether you're a seasoned traveler or returning from your first major trip, I hope my experiences and advice helps you transition smoothly back to everyday life, as well as embrace personal changes you have been through!
Meanwhile, I am very curious for other people’s experiences and suggestions for what helps to recover from reverse culture shock or PTD. So please message me on Instagram (@iam_allovertheplace) if you want to share!
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