So many people lately have been saying how I am 'living my best life'. There is something about that phrase that did not resonate but I couldn’t put my finger on it. And then a few days ago I realized why. It is for two reasons. Both have to do with the fact that when I was in the Netherlands and enjoyed my life no one told me I was living my best life.
“Living your best life” seems to indicate that there are somehow other lives within your life that are less good. My life in Hawaiʿi, then, is implicitly considered a separate life, a life that will be over when I leave these islands. And I don't like that way of thinking. I absolutely love my life and lifestyle in Hawaiʿi, but I also loved and aim to love my life and lifestyle in other places. The things that I am learning about life are not something I plan on only living up to during my time in Hawaiʿi. I plan on taking those lessons with me for the rest of my life, wherever I am and whatever I am doing.
Another reason why it did not resonate is that only telling me that I am living my best life when I am on Hawaiʿi subconsciously creates the belief that you cannot live your best life unless you are in a similarly beautiful place. I encounter this belief in people a lot. On TikTok I recently saw a video with the beautiful text “when you start seeing every moment as a miracle, knowing it is all connected and you are a part of it. That is when you realize heaven is on earth.” Someone responded with “Unfortunately I am stuck in the Netherlands”. To an extent it makes sense that it is easier to realize heaven is on earth when we are not in our home country. Because everything is unfamiliar. Eckhart Tolle explains this beautifully.
Many people feel more alive when they travel and when they are at home, their surroundings are so familiar that they lose presence completely. They don’t see things anymore. The good thing is you might not even have a name for all the new things you see. At home, you know what everything is called. You might see weird animals. The mind stops because you can’t name it and that’s a wonderful thing. Or you see trees that you haven’t seen before and you go ‘ah’. Or you might say to your friend “look at that” and you might notice in the moment of looking at that you are not naming it in your mind because you don’t know what it’s called. So there is a moment, a few seconds of just being present. Being the presence rather than the naming. But thinking that we can only reach this state of being present in an unfamiliar place is a limiting belief. Thinking that we can only have this sense of amazement for the things we see, or the realization that heaven is on earth when we are travelling is a limiting belief.
In Zen Buddhism there is a concept called the beginner’s mind. When we are learning something new our minds are curious and not yet filled with concepts, opinions and certainties. We are not yet attached to any facts, knowledge or experience because we are new to whatever we are learning. This state of mind is the essence of meditation and we should never lose it. We should always look at something as if it is the first time we are seeing it. Make the ordinary unfamiliar and you will be capable of seeing something completely new in every thing.
“If your mind is empty it is always open to anything, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” A story by Suzuki Roshi
What we can learn from this is that, although it might make being present and amazed by things we see easier, we do not have to be in an unfamiliar place to do so. Try to look at the world every day as if you are seeing it for the first time. You will realize that every place on this earth is beautiful, if only you look at it with the right mindset.
A way to stimulate a beginner's mind is by meditation. Zen is a Japanese transliteration of the Chinese word Chan, which is a transliteration of Dhyana, the word for concentration or meditation in the ancient Indian language Sanskrit. According to Zen Buddhism everything is a meditative act. Be in the moment and learn to love the subtleness of every moment. In order to fully appreciate the subtleties of every moment one should avoid extremities. As an example of such extremities a philosophy teacher of mine mentioned stuffing your face at a buffet and drinking a coffee on the go. Instead of a buffet you should enjoy a small amount of food on your plate very consciously. Similarly, we should not be 'on the go' while drinking something. You cannot be completely present in both being on the go and drinking at the same time. So instead get a coffee, sit down or stand still and give yourself a moment to consciously enjoy it.
What sparks enjoyment is being present in every moment, being conscious with everything we do or consume.
Since I started learning about and practicing Zen Buddhism and Zen meditation, I have been training myself to get in this slower and more attentive state of mind. I now know that it is not big things or many things that will spark enjoyment (if it does, I think that is a capitalist belief we have internalized). Similarly, enjoying your life should not be dependent on the place you are in, or the phase of your life you are in.
My life in Hawaiʿi is amazingly beautiful because what Hawaiʿi and the people I have met here have taught me is a sense of presence and appreciation for the subtlest things. In Hawaiʿi I learned how to slow down and to breathe — which is especially interesting as one of the most culturally significant concepts in Hawaiʿi is aloha which literally means 'breath of life'. In other words, Hawaiʿi and all of my experiences here have further nurtured a way of living. So I am not living my best life, instead I have been learning how to live my life the best.
Comments